Sunday, January 20, 2013

The Art of Breaking - Part 9

“You know Greg. He’ll find out. Greg is anything but unaware of me and my life. He thinks I need to move there so he can watch over me as IF I’m some little kid that needs a parent.” He paused to wipe away some imaginary crumbs on the table. How would his closest friend take the news that he really considered leaving Toronto for Alaska? He’d probably throw one hell of a fit for a little while.
A year or two at least.
But he didn’t know what else to do. He hated being alone yet he couldn’t find it in himself to allow another in his heart. He wanted to start life over again and forget the horrors that made up his own. He needed to take a step and forget it all. “I’m thinking about it. I’m freaking afraid of my own fucking shadow, Ashton. I can’t live like this anymore. Maybe Greg is right in saying I need that male parent figure that wasn’t there for me and he was all I had to look up to. He said…” putting on his best imitation of his brother voice, “Kyler, what you need is guidance and pushed in the right direction with your life. Put off relationships for awhile and come let your big bro take care of you for awhile. You need me, kiddo.” He felt his eyes heating up, and he so did not want to cry. Not anymore. He didn’t want Ashton to see him like this, to see the raw emotions dancing just under the masquerade of the happy face he tried to keep pasted for everyone else.
“Kyler, why don’t you move in with me? I’ll take care of you. I really hate seeing  you this way.”
“God, everyone wants to take care of me. Am I that helpless?” Kyler snorted and peeked at him through his purple locks. “We’d kill each other in a day. You know what I’m like.” Was being the way he was so bad? So what if he liked to put his life in the hands of a Master? It gave him less to stress about and freed his mind for the important things in life. Like, how to stay alive. “Why was I born this way? I think my mom dropped me too many times.”
“Dropped? And you’re no more high maintenance than any other queen, Kyler. There’s nothing wrong with you. You are who you are, and have been since the day I met you twelve years ago. And would you just stop bouncing around already? I swear it’s like you drink nothing but coffee all day long. Sit still.”

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