This is not what I had planned to post today. I wanted to do something fun on what was or is your favorite Christmas flick whether classic or current. I'll say anyhow that growing up it was the Drummer Boy and now it's The Christmas Shoes that sucks me in every shot and I watch it all the time. Including the Drummer Boy if I can still catch it.
Like I said this WAS what I wanted to talk about, but alas not so much anymore. I actually started out great today. I met up with my counselor and can I say she's one amazing lady? We don't meet in no office, but at the local mall which makes the setting more easy going and comfortable. ALL counselors should do it that way. Right? I've come a long way with her help which has been every Friday since September and I really am making progress. I won't go into the particulars of what we discuss since it's confidential, but I will say that my anxieties have been running high since my health has been taking a concerning nose dive and she's helped me to cope and face whatever will become of the test and results.
I left my session and off to work feeling positive and very confident only to have it short lived. They say everything comes in threes and it did for me, but it occurred all in one day.
1. One of the guys at work went in for surgery on his throat. Cancer.
2. Another guy at work has taken time off to spend the last days with his wife who is rapidly deteriorating from liver cancer.
and the worst one:
3. My big boss's wife had been fighting a brain tumor for the last 4 years and she's now losing the battle. They're just making her comfortable at home for the short time left. They have an 8 year old little boy that they just broke the news to after trying to hide it from him for so long. It's like a real Christmas Shoes story in its own way. It's sad and down right depressing.
My day even ended with some dude cursing at me over the phone like a foul fawktard he is, made threats and talked about things I can shove up in areas that wouldn't feel very kosher. It's the company he was pissed at, but picking up the damn call I wound up being the recipient. :sighs: Was time to call it a day. Seriously.
I drove home asking myself: Is there even any good left in the world? I'm not finding it and I'm sure as fawk not seeing it. Everywhere I look around me it's nothing but negativity and ok so yeah it's coming off me right now, but can you blame me!? Really?
Life. Just. Sucks!
Well folks... If you can point out to me something positive and make me alter my views of life then have at it.
My insides are on fire, I'm feeling sick to my gut and not doing so shit hawt. Mentally and physically I'm drained and 'm done writing for today. For the weekend. Maybe longer. Who knows with me these days.
Fawking, bleeding hell. Time for someone else to take over posting for awhile. I'm calling it a night and going to crash.
Have a great weekend folks.