Friday, April 15, 2011

Driven under

I've had a shit week and an even shittier day. Nothing was right and nothing seemed to turn out right. 

First it started off at work, yet it always does. You see we get Co-op students that come into our company and they earn credits while they learn to which pertains to what they are studying in school and in their case it's the finance/accounting so my being higher up the chain and a trainer I'm also their mentor. There's one guy and one girl, both in grade ten and both are sixteen years old. The boy is working in our rental division and the girl in our leasing division. The boy walks in and leaves always with a smile on his face although the girl doesn't if it weren't for me her experience at our company wouldn't be pleasant for this teenager. 

This teenage, now giving her name to protect her identity, was feeling ill and I tossed my workload aside to pull up a chair and tell her: Talk to me, what's going on. The gushing of waterworks opened up and she's told me bout her home life, not feeling well and very depressed. We spoke, I cheered her up and got her smiling and I felt like I had made progress at being her mentor.

An hour after that took place I got a text from my boss saying: I heard your sitting with (said teenager) got an update. 

Someone had nothing better to do with their time and advised my boss of my sitting with her. My boss who is currently on a Manager's conference in British Columbia with all those in management within the company while us 'little people' are left to run the damn show. Three of us supervisors have to monitor 50 employees that have no direction other than us. Was I livid? I already was, but that's now become a fawking volcano that's erupted after getting that.  

I walked out of there, early, burning rubber and I was beyond livid. I want to rip this grown women a new arsehole for being so insensitive. An email from someone I'd like to call a friend calmed me down amazingly and he knows who he is as I've already thanked him for it.

But all the bullshit is still hanging in the cusp and it's got me feeling completely unbalanced. I'm feeling like burying myself and more so now. When I'm seeing red there's no line that I can cross over that makes me believe I can do anything right. There's no right, no wrong there's just an ALL wrong. That becomes for me problematic. I've gotten so fedup with the hicmic that I stopped at the mall after work. If you know me at all? I hate the fawking mall and shopping. Period! In the end I walked out with a java and someone's phone number wanting me to call them. Will I call? Hell no! They don't need me to complicate their life like I have the lives of so many people who regret to even have gotten to know me. If you've put up with me this long then you're a special kinda person. 

I think I'll stop here and just do that... burying thing and maybe the next post will be more positive, lifting and upbeat cause I'm sure not feeling it right now after this week had ended. 

G'night folks and have yourselves a great weekend. I'm gonna give it a go, but I wouldn't count on it.

No comments:

Post a Comment